When i woke up this morning,I felt a plunging feeling in my heart.I took a deep breath before the plunge and got outta my bed.I sat on my bed for awhile.Thinking to myself,What have you done aaron chong??...Why are u such an idiot?..Why do u have to make a fool outta yourself??..Isn't it obvious enough?..u already know the reason why a long time ago..and yet u still press on?..Can you just control your emotions?..Its not doing you any good.I want to RIP....I really wanna rip out ALL...All these unwanted and troublesome feelings and emotions that i have.I want to break out.I want to tear,rip,grind,whatever means neccasary for it to go.But like my shadow,it follows me wherever i go,whatever i do.I am at my wits end already.I really wanna get rid of these feelings so badly that im willing to end it all..If not for 2 people relying on me i would have done so long ago..Maybe..just maybe i should take them along with me and leave this place of suffering
Sometimes i wonder,Why do people have it while i dont?.I see it every sunday,I see it in their eyes.How much they receive,While i lost mine 14 years ago.What is that??...Something which makes me wanna press the reset button so badly.
:~(.. we're here for ya ronny.. even if sometimes cannot meet physically but always care abouch you.. i don't know what else to say but you can call whenever you want......
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dubble chin aunty