My name is Pain

Next week is the week which will change the course of my life forever.A question which i cannot bring myself to ask,I really cannot bring myself to ask him.I really do not know how to.Its way too cruel for a son to be asking his father.No matter what the father did in his life.But ultimately i would hold his hand and look in his eyes and ask him.Its way way too cruel and emotional even for a guy like me to handle.Im afraid my dad would take it wrong and hate me for it.But i do not want to see him suffer.Its very painful to see your own father suffer like that.Its very painful to see your dad once a well-built man turn to skin and bones with tubes stuck all over him.And i can feel the pain whenever he speaks to me.I feel even more for my grandma.An old frail lady wishing that she was the one lying on the hospital bed instead of my dad.It really pains me to the core seeing her cry like that.In all my 22 years this is the first time ive seen her cry.And it really hurts to see the person who brought u up cry like that infront of u.My worst fear now is that when the day comes she might not be able to take it.Thats my worst fear now.And i wont be able to take another heavier blow this time.My heart cannot take a blow like this.it just cant.That would definitely be the end of the littlefighter.