My name is Pain

Next week is the week which will change the course of my life forever.A question which i cannot bring myself to ask,I really cannot bring myself to ask him.I really do not know how to.Its way too cruel for a son to be asking his father.No matter what the father did in his life.But ultimately i would hold his hand and look in his eyes and ask him.Its way way too cruel and emotional even for a guy like me to handle.Im afraid my dad would take it wrong and hate me for it.But i do not want to see him suffer.Its very painful to see your own father suffer like that.Its very painful to see your dad once a well-built man turn to skin and bones with tubes stuck all over him.And i can feel the pain whenever he speaks to me.I feel even more for my grandma.An old frail lady wishing that she was the one lying on the hospital bed instead of my dad.It really pains me to the core seeing her cry like that.In all my 22 years this is the first time ive seen her cry.And it really hurts to see the person who brought u up cry like that infront of u.My worst fear now is that when the day comes she might not be able to take it.Thats my worst fear now.And i wont be able to take another heavier blow this time.My heart cannot take a blow like this.it just cant.That would definitely be the end of the littlefighter.

The Pursuit of Happines is the root of all problems

Happiness..Does everyone on this earth really believe the equation of happiness is money times money times money equal to happiness?.. Well to me maybe in ancient rome or greek yes maybe.Money or coins as were their currency of ancient greek and italy would buy them happiness i believe.Why?..u ask?..Slavery.I do not mean slaves can make u happy.what i would rather highlight on is PEOPLE.To me true happiness lies in people.But first you must be accepted by others in order to find happiness.Sometimes i wonder,Its not the things you do for them that will define you being accepted by others.Rather,its in your laws of attraction or chemistry between people that makes u favoured by others.Its in the small things that people do to prove whether you are favoured by others.I'm sure people out there have encountered this kind of experience that i'm mentioning now.Its just that we have always turned a blind eye to it.And i find myself asking why is that so?.Not that i'm being negative.But someway or another i find that looks and Charisma plays a very important role in society.Sometimes you try to find your voice in a group but all u found was just people turning a deaf ear on you or people just entertaining you by either nodding their heads or saying i understand i understand.They are not really intrested to hear 15 minutes of your sad story.Because it might dampen their spirits for the day or just spoil their mood.It's in their eyes when you talk to them.Opinions aren't really heard as well,If an opinion is given by you.its either brushed off or thinking it might be rubbish.And to top it off you might get a Rude reply for giving your honest opinion.Maybe im putting too much thought into it,But with every ounce of faith that i have that are left in me i sincerly hope that i'm wrong